Trees

Sometimes when I'm alone I think about trees. I think about how great it is that the giant old trees started growing a really long time ago so they would be really big right now. I think it's great that the oldest trees are so huge because when we cut them down we can use them for so many things. Trees are great for wiping your nose, the sweat off your brow, or your unmentionable parts after you 'take care of business.' Trees are good for sitting on, and holding your computer in front of you. They're good for making houses and telephone poles. Trees are great for putting stuff in, like fast food and breakfast cereal. I think trees are really cool. It just sucks that they take so long to grow.

~Anonymous

The Mist

There was this one day when it was all misty outside. I remember waking up that morning and seeing the mist and not being able to tell if it was mist or snow or if I was transported away by the aliens again.

Later, after I put my glasses on, I realized that I just had my vertical blinds closed and it wasn't really misty outside at all.

Now that I'm not so drunk, I think about things like that and wonder. But then I forget what I was wondering about.

I think it had something to do with a plastic pink flamingo lawn ornament and a box of Kleenex. Wait, that doesn't make sense.

If I ever get back on that same train of thought, I'll let you know.

Who are you again?

~Anonymous